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I second taking a look at Clojure.

Also, your comment of:

The world is imperative! Things have state! We do not live in an imaginary fluffy world of mathematical elegance & correctness.

I would check out article by Rick Hickey on state on the Clojure website:

http://clojure.org/state

It will get you thinking about how often your objects really need to have "state".




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