I grew up in India and am familiar with this, used to always wonder if I was wrong and why i often get confused when people say parentheses instead of brackets.(I have been in the US since the last 10 years)
That's how I learned it (although I never used 'round brackets' explicitly). This gets really confusing when you begin to talk to Americans and refer to 'brackets', thankfully everybody understands parens, and the others are the same.
I've never heard the "split parenthesis" - perhaps Quebec is different.
I have a Lisp teacher in Japan who has an interesting way of reading code. He says 'kakko' for '(', which is the usual Japanese word for a parenthesis. For the closing one, he says the word in reverse: 'kokka'. So "(def a (fn))" would be read "kakko def a kakko fn kokka kokka". It's quite effective.
I sort of like orthogonalscalators, because it's huge and people seem happy to abuse "orthogonal". Plus, it brings strange things to mind when you mention that there are two or three of them in parallel...
Escalate already means move up, but has a clumsy opposite (de-escalate, I believe). Maybe descalator and escalator would be an alternative. However, ups- and downs- is better, plus you always get points for coining new words.
No no no! For the love of $(DIETY), don't call them openstache and closestache, but rather leftstache and rightstache.
While there isn't a difference in left-to-right language, those of us unfortunate enough to have to support right-to-left languages need a nontrivial algorithm to decide whether openstache is actually a leftstache or a rightstache (because the grpahic form of the character is that of a leftstache, independent of directionality, rather than openstache, which mirrors based on directionality)
There is (AFAIK) one programming language that is RTL -- a variation on Basic which has been dead for about 15 years now.
The open-paren / left-paren problem is there even in e.g. Word, explictly _because_ it's considered open-paren rather than left-paren; When you type 'alif' (arabic 'a' equiv) 'ba' (arabic 'b' equiv) shift-9 (left paren), you get ')' 'ba' 'alif' . but if you type 'a' 'b' shift-9, you get 'ab('. if you insert a different directionality character immediately in fromt of the open-paren, the paren will be flip.
The rules for flipping parens are specified in the Unicode standard, and are extremely nontrivial and nonintuitive (both for implementing and for using -- it's often hard to get the kind of character you want!).
And it all exists because some idiot thinking "abstraction! It is an open-or-close that the person means, not the left-or-right!" was sitting in the committees making the decisions; There _was_ dissenting opinion, giving exactly the example I gave above, but abstraction was deemed way more important than usability.
You're on to something: in my math classes they would often be referred too as a "væltet Turborg". Which means a "fallen down Tuborg" ie. it's turned on the side. The profile can be seen on the roof of this truck: http://www.mc-barskk.dk/images/Tuborg_Julebryg.jpg
LTACHE and RTACHE is a lot less to type, and has some consistency with LPAREN and RPAREN which I recall from "back in the day" when I was at university and learning about lexers and parsers (go dragon book!).
One problem "stache" already has, which "tache" exacerbates: they sound too much like "dash". While "open dash" and "close dash" don't really make sense, that doesn't prevent them from adding to the confusion.
Hardly bad, literal yes, almost. 'Chaves' (keys, braces, staches in the post's joke) really come from the mathematical term 'chaveta', a punctuation, symbol that serves as a opening and closure in mathematical terms, hence the term as a key and not as brace (what would be better translated as braçadeira).