|I've loved computers since I was a kid. Got a degree in CS, worked at a few small companies, and then landed a job in a large tech company, which was my dream. Then everything went to shit.|
Before that job, I was crazy about anything related to software. My life was devoted to reading papers, learning new languages, libraries and frameworks, and thinking about the future of things and what could be improved. I had an extreme drive to work and deliver, and a stellar career up to that point.
I really wanted to work for one of the big tech companies, so I started applying to them. I didn't really care about the project I would be in, as long as I got a job in one of those companies.
So I landed one of those jobs. And the project SUCKED. In two years, it turned me into a complete cynic towards software. I don't see the value in things like I used to anymore. I don't want to think about technology. I want to use computers as glorified calculators, nothing more. I dread hearing about frameworks, IDEs, debuggers, compilers, Unicode, RFCs, protocols, what have you. Everything seems unnecessarily complex.
I thought the problem was that bad project, so I switched teams. One of the coolest teams in the company, actually - lots of publicity, contributes to open source, really smart people. But the scar from the previous two years is still there. I can't find that passion in me anymore, and my performance is mediocre. I spend my days dreaming about early retirement.
What depresses me is seeing how uninteresting a person I am now that I don't have all that passion for software. Because I spent so many years focusing on it, I feel like I have nothing else in me. I don't have hobbies. I haven't traveled a lot. I don't appreciate art. I don't even play video games. I'm as good to talk to as a brick of mud. I don't know what to do.
Sorry for the wall of text. I guess I'm looking for people who have been through a similar experience and recovered from it.