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Given how dependent php is on hosts to upgrade, and how slow php hosts traditionally move, it would seem that php would benefit from a 7-to-5 transpiler, similar to Babel for JS. Does anything like this exist already?

Honestly, bigger PHP sites aren't dependent on hosts but on Linux distributions for staying up to date. Once there's an AMI of Amazon Linux and an Ubuntu LTS shipping with PHP7, there should be a huge upswing in adoption.

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