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I can definitely see that it's not super constructive, but the article presented only two choices (and explained why neither were great), I found this choice conspicuously missing and wanted to ask, honestly hoping OP would read it...

Here you are valuing your desire to know something above the potential impact on him. It's thoughtless. Here the guy pours his heart out, and specifically writes:

> However, “community” is not the gift that keeps on giving, it is the gift that keeps on taking and taking and taking. If you don’t set clear and absolute boundaries, it will drain you dry and move on.

Your comment here is exactly that sort of taking.

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