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Paranoia can be healthy sometimes



“Sometimes paranoia's just having all the facts.”

– William S. Burroughs


This was not the seniment the community expressed yesterday to me...


I remember your post. I don't think you have any mental health issues, I mean long-standing ones. Your comments recently as well as your original post is in some ways quite cogent. But as I replied to you in that thread (I don't remember my throwaway pwd), the Reddit CO2 poisoning guy also sounded quite fine. He wrote in quite a similar style as you, in the sense that there are no stylistic clues, it sounded well-reasoned.

But you gave HN a lot of information other than the hacking facts - specifically, your exact adderal dosage, and also feeling ill physically.

I initialled replied by asking about who would have a motive to send you that email - but after I saw the linked Reddit article about the CO2 poisoning guy, I decided that it's probably more important for you to lower your adderall usage and make sure you're not physically ill. I mean what are the downsides to not taking so much adderal? None. People specifically pointed out the effects that you describe matching the adderall dosage, and also I think what you said about your family being concerned is a BIG clue. After all, I doubt the author's family (of the Atlantic article in this thread) is concerned about him for writing it (as a point of comparison). So what I mean is that just because you believe you're being hacked doesn't mean you would tell your whole family - their conern doesn't come from the facts, it comes from your behavior. So that to me also said that it is likely that you should get the primary things that might be causing this into check.

All that said, I found the facts you reported to be completely plausible. But, like, so what? The matrix of reward/loss for you looks like this:

There are two questions: are you temporarily ill, and are you being hacked. You now have two choices: explore your possible illness or ignore it. Here is the reward table:

  Expl = explore possibility of illness
  
          Being hacked?
                   No                          Yes
  Ill?  No  [ Expl.: -30 Ignore: 0      ] [Expl: -30 Ignore: 0]
        Yes [ Expl.: -30 Ignore: -10000 ] [Expl: -30 Ignore: -10000]
 
If the above boxes are taken in this order: 1 2 3 4

1: You're not being hacked and not ill. Simply mistaken. In this case, exploring illness will take you time and trouble, denoted by -30. If you ignore the possibility of illness (and the possibility of being hacked) you suffer no consequences.

2: In this case you ARE being hacked, and not ill. You're correct about feeling like you're being hacked. In this case, exploring illness possibility takes you the same -30. But if you ignore the possibility of illness, you suffer no negative consequences, EVEN THOUGH you're actively being hacked.

3: This is what happened to C02 guy. He has permanent brain damage now. He was NOT "being hacked" but was very seriously ill. In your story, this is a possibility since you reported physical illness, since your family was worried (even though if you wre genuinely being hacked you would have no reason to share with them, since it would be obvoius to you that it would sound paranoid), and you were taking huge adderal dosage. In addition, you could have some genuine issue like CO2 poisoning - for example is there a fireplace in the place you moved to? Is it ventilated. This is just one possibility, there are many other illnesses you could have contracted in the recent past, or external causes of your feeling.

4: The situation is EXACTLY THE SAME if you actually are under surveillance. if you ignore and don't treat your illness, you are under the exact same risks, even if at the same time your surveillance or being hacked is real. You gain nothing from not exploring the possibility of illness.

Why do I put -10,000 into the illness box?

Because this is what Co2 guy reports (after reddit successfully diagnosed him and his Co2 meter was off the charts): "Likely permanent damage. I can't work. I get confused watching movies. I can't remember anything. I confuse my reflection for a different person." [1] If he hadn't told reddit, today he would very likely be dead.

What happenes if you're being hacked? Nothing. So given the barest glance at the matrix above, it should seem completely obvious that you MUST explore health-related possibilities while completely ignoring the possibility that you're being hacked. You get no benefit from deciding this now, rather than after you're feeling normal.

I very strongly advise you to follow up as everyone suggested!

[1] https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/3iycro/fl_i_am...




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