Here's the truth. First of all, be proud of yourself for asking for help. Not an easy thing to do.
Now, Extreme emotional swings and suicidal thoughts?
The answer to your question is: Go see a doctor, and consider therapy or an antidepressant, or both.
Socializing is fine, and you should certainly reach out, go to a meetup with HNers in your area, or a maker space, or a gaming group whatever... but make an appointment with a doctor.
Doesn't have to be a psychiatrist, can be a GP or whatever. Whatever reason you have been using to put this off... forget it and go. Push through the depression, ignore the transient happiness, and make that appointment. Making the appointment is probably harder then actually going, your natural inclination to feel guilty can help you keep an appointment.
You are not alone, you do matter, but you should go get help. You know this, or you wouldn't be asking for help here, but while HN can be a wonderfully supportive community in many ways, it's not mental health care. It's safe to ask here, and I applaud you for asking for help. But it's up to you to take action.
Also, if you are looking for specific social suggestions, indicate your city. Good luck.
Now, Extreme emotional swings and suicidal thoughts?
The answer to your question is: Go see a doctor, and consider therapy or an antidepressant, or both.
Socializing is fine, and you should certainly reach out, go to a meetup with HNers in your area, or a maker space, or a gaming group whatever... but make an appointment with a doctor.
Doesn't have to be a psychiatrist, can be a GP or whatever. Whatever reason you have been using to put this off... forget it and go. Push through the depression, ignore the transient happiness, and make that appointment. Making the appointment is probably harder then actually going, your natural inclination to feel guilty can help you keep an appointment.
You are not alone, you do matter, but you should go get help. You know this, or you wouldn't be asking for help here, but while HN can be a wonderfully supportive community in many ways, it's not mental health care. It's safe to ask here, and I applaud you for asking for help. But it's up to you to take action.
Also, if you are looking for specific social suggestions, indicate your city. Good luck.