Showing up is a necessary but non-sufficient condition. I've known plenty of people who were very good at "showing up", but nobody wanted them there. You'll need some personality and, yes, perhaps a little bit of hard-earned talent (those six pack abs) to complete the picture.
Or you go someplace else, where your sense of humour is appreciated. There's usually more than one place to find the connections that'll get you to the next level...
We might be stretching the metaphor a bit here, but I don't think it would be too much of a stretch to create an aspiring model meetup. Of course some credibility in the community would help (ie sponsorship from one or more local model agencies) and you would need to provide actual value (perhaps in the form of "tricks of the trade"), but why wouldn't aspiring models be looking for this kind of thing?
And why couldn't you be the one to create it for them?
Whenever I read social advice online for startup/tech people, I tend to find that the benefits of networking, etc. are really overhyped (I may be biased by my industry). You aren't going to date a supermodel just sitting outside the Playboy mansion on the street, and you aren't getting in to the Playboy mansion unless you have proved yourself worthy of being in that club. You aren't going to get funding if you have no product or talent. Obviously networking is important, and you should take high-value opportunities, but this article is exaggerating its value/frequency it is needed
In my experience, it is so much easier to find like-minded people through online means. I try to imagine how someone could try to find someone like myself in the real world inadvertently. Given my lifestyle (work in private office, don't frequently socialize with startup people), it isn't happening, outside of the occasional major conferences (PyCon) and invite-only events.
What I've learnt, from growing up in a highly connection based society (China), is that your own worth and networking are two side of the coin, and you must have both.
Although, in some cases, who you know is part of your value, so it kind of creates a self-reinforcing loop for networking.
I think the author is trying to illustrate that showing up/networking is a necessary condition for success. The point is that no matter what else you do, unless you are in a place where you can meet supermodels, you will never date one.
Showing up is one way of making your own luck, increasing the chances of those serendipitous run-ins that always seem to be littered throughout success stories.
Ruben Gamez did a good course on Mixergy.com (premium) called "Networking for Introverts". Although it says it's for introverts it's really just useful as a good example of how to build relationships that works.
I spent the better part of my 20s thinking that networking is for losers. You know - you show up to those "networking breakfasts", everyone in their shitty, ill-fitting $120 suits from Lowes drinking orange juice concentrate and desperately trying to sell each other their shitty products (or worse, strike up worthless "strategic partnerships").
Then early in 2011 when I was looking to build a better business development strategy rather than the "hit n hope" method of deal flow that I'd been relying on as a freelancer for so many years I went to see a marketing consultant. One of the questions she asked was "so where do you do your networking?". I was like "networking? that's for losers!". She looked at me blanky and proceeded to school me.
I've met so many great people since then. There are some fantastic resources on how to build and manage your networks and how to be a valuable member of your community, and how that in turn will build value for your business.
If you aren't taking networking and building relationships seriously, you're missing out. No matter what business you're in, you're ultimately in the people business and knowning great people is always going to be an asset.
A slightly tangential point from that article but...
I'm in the UK - Derby, specifically, though I've known other areas well too - and I've never seen people working for more than a short period (say, 30 mins max) out of cafés. Never.
I can see it may well be good networking advice. I can see it'd be more sociable than my current spare-bedroom-office setup. But I've never seen it done to have any indication it's viable in the local café culture.
Serious question. Any UK'ers, midlands in particular, actually do this? Where do you find is actually good for this?
Not quite the midlands but in Brighton I've done this and know people who do it regularly. A kind of middle ground is a co-working space, these are sort of like offices that are available for freelancer user, you sign up for a anything from a couple of days a month to full time then you just show up with your laptop. I find it a really great way of working, being independent but still having lots of others around who also create stuff.
<plug>The co-working space I work from in Brighton, The Skiff, is expanding. Anyone from around Brighton in the UK interested in co-working should definitely check it out: http://theskiff.org </plug>
At the risk of pointing out the obvious : Why don't you ask the cafe owner whether it's Ok if you hang out for most of the day at a table - and whether they'd prefer you to pay via regular coffee purchases, or they would be comfortable if you just gave them (say) GBP10 for the morning, etc. Make sure the place has the right vibe before you pick it for the 'long term', and that you make plain that you're happy to play by their rules...
Well, yes, but for something that seems to be standard advice yet I'd never seen in operation, I was curious if I was missing it actually happening or whether it was more a localised phenomena. I think I've got my answer :-)
No, granted, but then like I say, I've moved around a bit. Milton Keynes (where I was before) is hardly olde worlde but café working seemed absent there. For that matter I used to be in London very regularly on business and I never saw it there either, and that's probably the biggest centre for 'new media' in Europe.
London is big. You have to be in specific places. The "New Media" part of London is East End - a lot of it centered around Shoreditch, though you'll find pockets elsewhere.
But you'll find people working in cafees etc. all over. Check out the Starbucks opposite Centre Point next time you're in London - it has (or had, at least, last time I was there) office desks..
I think the most valuable lesson in this post is getting a bit lost. It's so much more than just "networking." It's about being where your targets are, so that you can better understand them.
Just being among the people that interest you, to observe and overhear, can be super valuable in itself.
I would suggest to just take this advice, work on it, or atleast TRY IT. We are so focused to find excuses that sometimes we succeed at an incredible rate!
While it may certainly help to hang out in the right places, there's two reason this won't work out:
1) At least where I live (Italy), hanging out with the "right" people just isn't enough. You have to have deeper connections with somebody (for example, they're in some way connected to your family) before you can get some kind of attention from the "right" people.
2) The author implies that what you are able to do is just not relevant. While I've found out that is certainly true, I personally think that it's very unhealthy for you as an individual to completely drop all of your skills except for the social skill (which seems to be the only thing that matters, especially when dealing with the "right" people).
You're over-thinking this. He's not saying that to get a supermodel girlfriend you should hang out in a cafe and do nothing but hitting on supermodels. Sure, that might improve your odds of meeting one even more, but it'll be detrimental to your life in all kinds of other ways.
He's saying you take your normal work (and spare time) and carry it out in a place where you're more likely to meet the super models than where you'd otherwise spend your time.
In other words: Identify "low cost" changes that create more opportunities to meet the type of people you want to meet by making sure you are in the right place. Even if you otherwise spend your time doing the same things as before.
Changing your working location so that you're surrounded by the type of people you want to meet is a low cost proposition. Changing where you hang out when you go out is another one. Choosing the parties you go to or conferences you go to with care is another one. Making the choice to go out instead of staying in and watching TV is yet another.
Willie Sutton said he robbed banks because "that's where the money is."
If you need to meet people, the first thing to do is make sure you can be where they are. Likewise, if you need clients/customers, you have to find them before doing anything else. All the other stuff surrounding getting a product done is meaningless if you can't find someone to sell it to.
I think his point is that you have to find out what's important and do that before anything else. If you want to date supermodels, figure out where to go to meet them before you worry about getting in shape/buying new clothes/any other peripheral activity.
Honestly, you'd be amazed how often simply being in the right place is all you need (at least here in the US).
"If you need to meet people, the first thing to do is make sure you can be where they are."
Or, you can work to put the right people where you need them to be. I recall an interview, from long ago, with Peter Sellers, the actor who played Chief Inspector Clouseau in The Pink Panther film series. I don't remember the exact words, but he said something to the effect that when he needed a job, he didn't go about finding one in the usual manner. Instead, he would manipulate events such that an opportunity would spring into existence, one which would be made just for him.
EDIT: I note that this is my first HN comment of the new year. I should take this as a sign, and maybe try to be more like Peter Sellers, at least in regard to what I said above.
EDIT: I also note that he has a website, even though he's been dead for more than three decades.
EDIT: "I feel ghostly unreal until I become someone else again on the screen."
This quote, from his website, makes me wonder if that's one of the things which is at the root of an entrepreneur, because it's almost as if many of the people who create startups do it partly for the purpose of becoming someone or something else, as an actor would in a new role, especially if, like Peter Sellers, they tailor the role to themselves, rather than stepping into one which is prêt-à-porter.
I know that's true - probably not in Italy, but certainly it works better than building a great product and then trying to sell it.
> if you need clients/customers, you have to find them before doing anything else. All the other stuff surrounding getting a product done is meaningless if you can't find someone to sell it to.
I can't see a society where this is true going somewhere - just my point of view.
He is not saying that the skills required to build the product are not necessary, he is just saying they are not sufficient.
You need to be able to build the product, AND have people to sell it to.
Having people to sell it to first helps you build the right product in the first place.
In the supermodel example, you might still need to go to the gym and buy a flashier car, but you won't know that until you actually start meeting supermodels and talking to them.
