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If you have some exposure to game theory you will learn that consistently collaborating will not be the best approach in every situation. If people learn that you consistently collaborate they will intuitively start abusing that (e.g: force you to play "chicken", "the volunteer's dilemma" or any model game in which the collaborator loses). That's to start with.

Now, competing doesn't mean losing control of yourself and explode and become vulgar. It also does not mean having bad intentions and being evil. Whatever you decide to do, compose yourself and don't let your emotions take over. And try to keep your motivations well-intentioned.

If you are going through a bad moment... a good tool for introspections and analyzing your situation is the SWOT chart (4 quadrants: strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats). You can express your current situation in terms of these 4 things, to better understand and identify ways to use your strengths and opportunities, work on your weaknesses and mitigate threats.

Another important concept is balance. Try to find the imbalances in your life. What are excesses, what are the things you are lacking... and find ways to balance things out. Your anger might come out of frustration generated from these imbalances.

If people give you a hard time, read a book called: "The No Asshole Rule". Now, those are not the only types of draining people. Just try to not let people drain you emotionally, at least not for a good reason. If after an interaction with someone you consistently feel drained, it's time to avoid that person for your own good.




I think in general one should try to be nice to everyone but yes, in my own experience, collaboration and being nice all the time is probably not the best strategy. It can be very demanding on one's mental health.

I say it because lately I have found myself engaging in far too many emotionally draining conversations with a few friends and coworkers. These are generally negative/depressed/anxious people. Of course, they need someone who they can talk and lighten their loads but they end up passing their load on me. After lunch or dinner with these friends, I feel too tired to contribute anything positive when I am with my other friends or more importantly with my wife.

One should not be sounding board for everyone but only close friends and family.




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